I dismiss them,.

             blaspheme against them - let them be gone. But I have spoken and they are still there".

             (Laurence, 31). Hagar rejects everything that would shatter her illusion that she has.

             created: "Doris believes that age increases natural piety, like a kind of insurance policy.

             falling due. I couldn't explain. Who would understand, even if I strained to speak? I am.

             past ninety and this figure seems somehow arbitrary and impossible,." (Laurence, 38).

             When Hagar finally gets through her stage of denial that she has live in she becomes.

             angry with herself and the world around her. It frustrates Hagar that she can no longer do.

             what she is accustomed to doing rather she often has to seek the aid of others: "How it.

             irks me to have to take her hand, allow her to pull my dress over my head, undo my.

             corsets and strip them off me, and have her see my blue-veined swollen flesh.".

             (Laurence, 77). Hagar gets angry also when she cannot control her emotions: "Now I.

             perceive, too late, how laden with self-pity my voice sounds, and how filled with.

             reproach" (Laurence, 37). Hagar cannot control her mind either and her illusion is slowly.

             shattering: "Oh, but that was not what I meant to say at all. How is it my mouth speaks by.

             itself, the words flowing from somewhere, some half-hidden hurt?" (Laurence, 68). Hagar.

             is angry at her body that she can no longer do simple tasks for herself but that she is.

             dependent on others: "I heard the footsteps on the carpeted stair. They sound muted and.

             velvety, as though it were a smotherer.When the intruder opens the door, I won't be able.

             to rise from my chair." (Laurence, 72). Hagar feels incompetent and useless which.

             infuriates and frustrates her at the same time. Hagar goes through a short period of.

             bargaining where she wonders what if. Even though Hagar attempts to bargain against the.

             inevitable there is always a constant reminder: ".I'm stuck here like an overturned.

             ladybug.I hurt all over, but the worst is that I'm helpless.