One may be consciously aware of its .
existence- it may have been articulated or it may be implicit, but none .
the .
less it is there, just below the surface, and can be retrieved and made .
explicit when we are asked about it. This goal however, does not .
complete .
the causal link between belief and behavior- something else is at work .
and .
at a much deeper level.
This is a desire that is so spread out and so elusive in form that it .
remains untouched by the intellect. But it is there, silently molding .
and .
directing all our perceptions, feelings and attitudes towards some .
faraway .
goal. This goal can be tangible and expressible in social terms. It .
could .
represent the desire for a certain life style, a certain status or at .
the .
other extreme it could be unstated longing to touch the face of God.
Sometimes this control is felt as a pressure or pull that we are .
powerless .
to resist. This is however so diffuse that the source and its structure .
cannot be determined. Yet, in the final analysis, this is the ultimate .
driver-we would behave very differently without it. It's presence leads .
us .
to make a particular selection from the flow of possibilities that life .
presents us. It cannot be analyzed by reason because it is not .
expressed in .
terms of structures that conscious thought can operate with. It remains .
elusive and the machinery of the intellect, of reason and logic, having .
nothing to bite on become impotent.
If I were asked to state what my inner goal was I would state it in .
terms of .
tangibles like a certain level of affluence and social standing. There .
would .
be more desires-the wish for good health, for love and happiness but .
even as .
I write this I know and I can feel that this is not the real story. I .
am not .
a religious person in the conventional sense of the word. Like most .
other .
people, my daily life goes on (apparently) untouched by the issues of .
God, .
life and death. However, I believe at the deepest level these issues .
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